Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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