If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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