Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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