Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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