we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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