I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
