i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
