There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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