More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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