turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize