They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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