Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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