Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize