my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
