ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
