I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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