He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
