finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Terrible idea I love it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize