Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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