she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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