when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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