just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
