Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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