Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
