Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
