Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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