And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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