WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize