"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Text me some of your sweat
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