I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
