Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
