i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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