wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
