remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
