11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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