hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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