The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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