I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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