if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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