i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
