dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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