I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
