i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
