You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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