My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
