Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
