i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
