I wish life had little blips of pornography
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
