Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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