just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize