Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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