My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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