none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
