i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
