I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
