There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
