Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
