i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
