We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
