coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
