And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
