was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I still have a little drunk in my system
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
