i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
